Syracuse Keeper League Fantasy Football League

  SKL WEEK 9: DEAR SANTA, IT’S NOVEMBER Last week we were still wearing Halloween costumes. Apparently Thanksgiving has been canceled. Last week, this column was still handing out Halloween costumes. Parkhurst was Michael Myers, Burst was Charlie Brown, Bernie was Ferris Bueller, Erica was Cinderella, Trey was The Mask, and Travis came dressed as Travis because nobody was completely certain the person scoring all those points was the same guy who had shown up in September. That was seven days ago. The costumes have barely made it back into the plastic storage bins, there are still pumpkins collapsing inward on front porches across Central New York, and Thanksgiving football is still several weeks away. Naturally, this means somebody has already dragged the Christmas decorations out of the attic. The inflatable Santa is on the lawn. The lights are wrapped around the railing. Mariah Carey has been released from containment. Somewhere, a neighbor who spent October complaining about Ha...

SKL WEEK 8: THE MIDTERM Report cards are due. Costumes are mandatory. The spreadsheet is taking both far too seriously. Week 8 landed in the narrow part of the calendar where American schools traditionally combine two activities that should never happen on the same day: academic evaluation and children arriving dressed as Batman. So naturally the Syracuse Keeper League is doing both. The Midterm grades are due, the Halloween parade has reached the cafeteria, and twelve teams are wandering through the hallways dressed as monsters, movie characters, ghosts and, in one case, a preseason D+ draft grade. Somewhere behind a folding table in the grading office, a spreadsheet has been created to determine whether the student dressed as a 5-3 contender is actually a 5-3 contender. The spreadsheet is unsigned, the formulas are suspiciously well-commented, and one of its first official acts after coming online was to begin asking uncomfortable questions about Bernie. This is why people were happi...